Do you ever find an empty bag of chips and wonder where it all went, only to realize you were the culprit?

Do you ever make it close to your weight loss or health goal only to go “off the rails” and undo all your progress?

Do you eat foods you know are bad for you knowing you will feel bad about it later? 

Why? A more important question may even be How do we stop?!

Check out the video below or scan through the summary to find out more.

I’ve tried all the tricks. (1:53)

The closet clean out. Portion control. Cheat days. Jedi mind tricks. You name it. Inevitably I always found myself knee deep in something crunchy.

I’ve spent untold hours unraveling the mystery of my behaviors. I know I binge more when I am stressed, when I am sad. When I feel out of control, food is one change I can make immediately. When I feel poor, I can always eat something rich. When I feel like I have no time, no choices, no support…I can always choose something that tastes good to me. There are infinite reasons to binge.

One sad night (3:20)

The kids were in bed, I was up late working and feeling overwhelmed and small. It was maybe 3:00 am and I ran to the Golden Arches. I ordered a double quarter pounder with cheese and the largest fries. I sat eating in the parking lot in the darkness. Suddenly my phone lit up. My husband had woken up to use the bathroom and didn’t see me at my usual nocturnal post in front of the computer. (This was nothing new, just the first time anyone noticed I was gone.) I fessed up “I’m eating at McDonalds by myself.” I was a healthy eating, homesteading, green smoothie touting, baked from scratch mom and there it was.  “That is the saddest thing I ever heard; you should come home.” Yeah it was.    

What is binge eating? (5:00)

“This is binge eating to me….When we know what we want and we do something opposite.”

 There are complex reasons why people binge. Cravings, compulsions, habits, patterns, triggers, rewards, punishment.

 The book that turned things around (5:48)

I stumbled across a book that changed my life, my whole approach really. Where so many methods validate the emotions and experiences that led you there and preach self compassion, they can almost make you feel like your food addiction is not your fault. And though that can be comforting, it has never been empowering to me.  This approach was different. It can come across harsh to some, but to me it was freeing and elevating.

 Never Binge Again (7:06)

Dr Livingston is the psychologist behind the book and method: Never Binge Again.  He uses words like “Always” and “Never” and calls bad food “Pig Slop.” It can sound harsh and I have seen people up in arms about how offensive it before they’ve even read the book. And yet…it’s the first thing that has worked for me. So hang in there, suspend your defensive measures, and let’s dive in!

Let me introduce you to the Pig. (8:00)

We all have voices in our head.  I think it was Eckhart Tolle that first brought it to my attention that those voices aren’t all speaking truth. When a thought enters our head, he advocates inserting a pause or a space to give you room to consider a thought and then accept or reject it as productive. That is a powerfully simple tool I use to save myself a lot of grief.  Not everything that pops in my head is true or even me. 

So it resonated to me when Dr. Livingston—I’m going to call him Glenn—identifies the voice in our head that sabotages us as something other than ourself.  He calls it our shaming alter ego. It is the voice that persuades, begs, even bullies us to cave in and go off diet.  He named this voice the pig.  Now some people get all up in arms as if you are calling yourself a pig and shaming yourself.  The nuance here is that you are separating your higher self from the weaker, indulging, self-sabotaging self. You are releasing yourself from that negativity and isolating it.  For example, that girl in the parking lot was a much different girl than the one who woke up the next morning deriding herself and eating kale for penance. The voice that said I deserved the slice of pizza that led to eating a whole pizza….that is not the same me that wants to eat clean and feel good and be free of illness so I can live life and climb mountains and see the world! When you call that voice a pig, you are not shaming yourself at all. It is the opposite. You are liberating yourself and distinguishing yourself as something higher and better. 

THE PIG IS NOT YOU.

If you are offended by the word, pick another one. Some people say beast or gremlin or give it a name. I still use Pig because, like Glen says, it lends itself beautifully to an extended metaphor, which you will see.

Let’s say it again. THE PIG IS NOT YOU.

But you are the one that cleans up its mess and pays the price. You are the one who is tried for feeling defeated and hopeless. So let’s learn how to cage the pig.

Definitions you need to know

The Pig (11:28): the voice inside you that wants immediate gratification. Wants to binge. Wants all the food.  It doesn’t care about your goals and desires or even your medical issues. It wants to binge now.

Start listening to the pig to get to know his voice and the words/arguments he uses.

 Pig Slop (12:15): Any food that is not on your plan. Any food you determine doesn’t serve you.  Glen says “I eat from a plate, not a trough.” Pig slop will look different for different people in different circumstances.

Pig Squeal (13:05): anything the pig says to persuade you to binge. Remember, the pig is inside you and has access to everything you think so it is using your logic. It won’t be a simple “go on, everyone else is doing it,” like in those cheesey Just Say No ads from the 80s.  It will sound like “you deserve this.” Or “It’s rude to pass on it.” Or “You can’t never eat that again?! that’s crazy!”  Or “This is the worst, I can’t believe we’re going through this. We have a headache, we’re hungry, we’re thirsty, we need this…” Listen carefully for any thought in your head, no matter how logical or appealing it sounds. If it contradicts your goals, it is not you speaking, it’s the pig. The better you get at recognizing this and labeling it pig squeal, the easier it is to shut it down and disregard it.

Binge (13:55):  Even one bite off your plan is considered a binge. Strict definition? Well, you have to draw a line somewhere! And experience teaches us that if you give the pig a nibble, it will take the whole buffet! Listen to the video for more clarification.

The plan (14:50):

Where does this plan come from? YOU

It isn’t from a book or guru or a doctor or even the health coach you hired (like me!)…It comes from you.  Remember, there is no one “true” diet and no one but you can work that out.  (Review this post for more information on creating a diet for yourself.)

You begin where you are and with what you know. Write down the foods you know you don’t want to eat and the foods that you know make you feel good. You are on your way! 

You can certainly get help. Please do!  You will draw from experts and from your experience and YOU write the rules.  This can be scary. Because if you fail, you can’t blame Dr Oz. You can’t blame Paleo. You can’t blame Jared from Subway. It begins and ends with you. You have to own it. The plus size of this, however, is that the plan is more likely to work because you are in full control and rather than ditching the whole system, you will tweak it until it works.

Your plan takes into account your nutrition needs, behaviors, and desires. It is the perfect size for you.  

What are the rules? (18:07)

What does this magic plan look like? It is made up of 4 kinds of rules: Always, Never, Conditional, and Unrestricted.

Always (18:29):  

This is for positive behaviors you want to incorporate into you plan. A day without completing an “always” would be a day off plan.

Examples:

• I always drink sole water first thing in the morning.

• I always eat more vegetables than meat on my plate.

• I always take my enzymes with dinner.

• I always walk at least 10,000 steps in a day.

• I always put my fork down between bites of food.

Never (19:26):

This is a scary word we’ve been told not to use but there is a real power to embracing this.  This clearly defines a binge for you, takes away all gray area and will help you overcome your biggest obstacles.  This list can be as long or short as you need, but it will contain foods and behaviors you know sink you every time. Foods you can’t restrain yourself with, that trigger binging and downward spirals. Behaviors that encourage you to fail. Nevers are not adopted lightly, but once they are, they have the power for real change.

For example:

• I never drink Dr. Pepper.

• I never go back for seconds at a buffet.

• I never eat at Little Cesar’s.

• I never drink alcohol.

• I never eat more than 2 slices of pizza.

• I never have more than one drink with dinner.

• I never eat after 8 pm.

• I never eat out of the bag (it has to be portioned).

Nevers are hard and take a lot of commitment but they can be done and it’s a powerful tool against the foods that trip you up the most—the ones that cause more carnage than pleasure.

Conditional (20:59):

These aren’t as rigid as nevers but still help you set limits you can stand by. You take foods you can control and add a framework around it so they don’t sabotage your goals.

Examples:

• I only eat popcorn when I am in a movie theater.

• I never eat white flour unless it is a French pastry made by hand.

• I never eat milk chocolate unless it is Christmas, my birthday or Valentine’s.

• I never eat pizza unless it is made from scratch or I’m on vacation.

• I never eat fried food unless I’m at Disneyland.

• I only eat cake on my birthday.

Unrestricted (22:55):

These are foods that you can eat with no limitations. Remember, the look different for different people. I can eat Dark chocolate (85% or higher) without restriction because, while I enjoy it, it is satiating and self-limiting to me. But Dr. Livingston himself had to put chocolate on his never list because it wasn’t self limiting to him. This list can have treats you can enjoy freely or healthy foods you want to emphasize eating large amounts of.

For example:

• I eat all the leafy greens I want.

• I drink as much water as I want.

• I can have all the chocolate I want if it is 85% or darker.

• I can have all the coffee I before 4 pm.

• I eat all the raw, grass fed butter I want on my food.

How do I recover from a binge (23:47)?

You indulged.  What now? Well, you think about it. Embrace it with curiosity. Examine it. Then move on! It is really that simple. You have a clean slate. Rather than shame, you should be congratulated for recognizing a binge and shutting it down. You are making progress!

If the same binge is repeated, do you need to change the rules? For example, does a conditional need to be recast as a never? Be brutally honest with yourself and block out the pig squeal that says you can’t do it. Remember, the Pig will squeal even louder right after a binge, while you are feeling down. Don’t listen to it. You are doing awesome!

What about will power (25:29)?

Will power is a finite resource, you say. It is like a muscle that fatigues over time, you say.  You’re right! But this plan takes care of that too.  You write the rules and it is done. You’ve already exerted the effort and put the work in. A vegetarian doesn’t agonize over every opportunity to eat meat—should I or shouldn’t I?—they already know they won’t eat it.  If you decide to eat kosher, that takes care of all kinds of food choices for you. This is similar. You are adopting a plan ahead of time that will take care of all the deliberation for you.  

And remember: It is okay to be uncomfortable. The pig will squeal loud and long at the hint of discomfort. For example, if you are quitting diet coke, you will most likely have a withdrawal headache. The pig will scream at how uncomfortable you are, for how badly you need a diet coke to get rid of it. But you know better. You are stronger. You are okay with discomfort. You can tell that to the pig.

What if I change (27:39)?

You have the power. Things change with experience and education.  Conditionals become Nevers. Nevers become so conquered they become obsolete. Your body changes. Or you learn more and make informed decisions. For example, I used to only drink skim milk and then I learned how grossly processed and bad it is for you. Now I only drink raw, whole grass fed milk like the good stuff from Utah Natural Milk. Skim milk is pig slop, to me.

A note on Therapeutic Diets (29:30). 

This is a great concept to jump in and get going on if you just want to drop a little weight and feel a little better. But if you find that you have real health issues that aren’t going away, you may need professional help and may need to consider a therapeutic diet.  If that is the case, your rules will largely be dictated by the parameters of the diet and designed in a specific, scientifically founded way. You may have to surrender to this. For example, if you are on an elimination diet, there will be strict rules relegating foods to your never list that you would have never thought to put there on your own. But realize you still have the power because you are CHOOSING this. You are choosing to take your health in your hands and go for the best you can achieve. You are choosing to act on this plan temporarily so you can have more freedom in the long run. You are choosing restriction so you can have freedom in the future.

What am I missing out on (32:15)?

This is one of the Pig’s biggest squeals. Food FOMO. But consider this…what are you gaining? You can still celebrate with your friends and loved ones without eating foods you know hurt you or sabotage your goals. Maybe you miss out on that birthday cake at the office…you know the one with the fake frosting that no one actually really likes? But what do you gain by passing it up?

Where do I get the book?

 Glenn Livingston has made it available for free download on his site.

Click here to download the book free.

If you like hard copies or want to do a deep dive and check out his other, supporting books, check him out on Amazon. Never Binge Again is just the beginning. He has a whole series of helpful books, all short and straightforward. He will really help you identify and shut down self-sabotaging behaviors so you can finally take control and get out of your own way!

Are you ready to stop binging?

Let’s talk about your strategy and even how to integrate these concepts into your own healing journey!

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